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WASHINGTON (AP) — I'm not a Scrooge, really. I embrace almost all of Christmas.
Except for one time-honored tradition that brings so much stress and
expense that eliminating it has made the holiday even more magical.
Join me — and others who are signing on in times of tight budgets — in the wonderful simplicity of a Christmas without presents. If 2009 taught us anything, isn't it that we can live with less and actually maybe even live better that way?
My family stopped exchanging Christmas
presents when I was a teenager and my single mother was out of work. We
thought of it as a sacrifice that we had no choice but to make. We
didn't realize at first that getting back all the time we spent
shopping, wrapping and stressing out over gifts was the best present we
could give each other. But we've never gone back to the old way of
presents stacked under the tree. We haven't missed the bottles of
scented lotion that cluttered our bathrooms but didn't get used, the
Santa Claus pajamas that were out of season after a couple of weeks, or
the myriad gadgets that we didn't really want or need. Instead of
going to the crowded mall, we spent quiet evenings at home together,
listening to holiday music and playing games. Money saved could be
spent on a lavish Christmas dinner — and we had a New Year free of holiday bills. I'm
not the only one promoting the no-gift idea, especially as the economy
gets worse. Deloitte predicts holiday sales will remain flat compared
to last year, when spending fell 2.4 percent in the first decline in
holiday sales since the financial services firm began analyzing the
seasonal market in 1967. My main incentive is to cut stress and
waste out of what can be joyful family time, but there are other good
reasons. Some people forgo gifts to save money, to reduce materialism
or environmental impact, or to keep the focus on the season's religious
significance. Shari Shomin, a grandmother from South Federal Way,
Wash., says her husband, son and daughter have all struggled with
unemployment this year, and the family has decided there will be no Christmas gifts unless they are homemade. "Time to get creative and get down to the true meaning of Christmas. Celebrating the joy of our Savior's birth. Be together with one another," she said. One
friend told me recently that she has informed her three children they
will get half the presents they usually do, and there will be no
gift-buying for anyone outside the family. Two other friends say that
instead of giving presents to everyone in the family, each person will
draw the name of just one other for whom to buy a gift. Personal
finance author Ramit Sethi lists a ban on holiday gift-giving as Tip
No. 18 in his money-saving challenge, and has created the Web site
NoChristmasGiftsThisYear.com to spread the idea. The site includes an
e-card you can send to loved ones asking them to skip the gifts and
instead do something together, such as play a game, cook a meal or
volunteer for charity. "People are in debt and they're losing
jobs every day," Sethi says. "Yet there's one sacred cow that we can't
seem to shake, no matter how bad things get." Incurring Christmas
debt regularly causes some people to start off each new year on the
wrong foot, says Sethi, but perhaps habits are changing. He points to a
survey from the American Research Group that indicates Americans have
steadily cut their planned holiday spending in recent years, from
$1,004 in 2004 to $431 last year. The biggest cut, about 50 percent,
came between 2007 and 2008. Michelle Dickson of Southfield,
Mich., says that after going through three rounds of unemployment in
six years, she'll be getting small gifts for only the children in her
family, not the adults. "If anything, I will bake cookies from
Grandma's old recipes or give non-monetary gifts, like five hours of
babysitting or dog sitting for the weekend," she said. "This is not
just a response to the tightened purse strings but also reflective of
the fact that we just don't need any more junk." The new first couple told People magazine last year that they don't personally give Christmas
gifts to their daughters, but there's always something under the tree
from Santa Claus. President Barack Obama said they want to teach the
kids limits, while first lady Michelle Obama said, "They get so much
stuff anyway that it just becomes numbing." Now that my sister and I are grown and living on opposite coasts, we spend our Christmas
budget on travel home to the Midwest to be together as a family. Our
gift to each other is being present, which gets more difficult as we
get older. A study of 117 people published in the Journal of
Happiness Studies found that those who emphasized time spent with
family and spiritual activities had merrier Christmases than those who
gave or received big presents. "Despite the fact that people spend
relatively large portions of their income on gifts, as well as time
shopping for and wrapping them, such behavior apparently contributes
little to holiday joy," wrote the researchers, Tim Kasser of Knox
College and Kennon M. Sheldon of the University of Missouri-Columbia.
I'm
not opposed to presents — in fact I love giving to celebrate birthdays,
new babies and weddings. But those occasions seem less stressful since
they come one at a time, spread out over the year, and without the
reciprocal pressure of trying not to over- or under-buy in the exchange. I'm
such a fervent believer in the no-Christmas-present rule that I've
extended it to all my friends and family. Most seem relieved to be able
to cross me off their long holiday shopping list. Of course, not everyone likes the idea. They believe Christmas
is the season of giving, and that without presents it can be
depressing. But the point of the no-presents pledge is that you still
give of your time, and in our stressed-out, over-scheduled lives,
that's the most precious gift of all.
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